Are you Being Bullied?
There's nothing worse than feeling you are being bullied. You wake up feeling dread and go to bed feeling like you've been victimized. The days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months of a repeated pattern and often time depression and anxiety can replace that what was once a sense of well being.
It seems the dynamics of this scenario are being played out in the world daily. It almost feels there is no escaping. Where do we go? What do we say? How can we find relief?
Barbara Colorosa wrote a book called, "The Bully, The Bullied, and The Bystander" in which she explains it's not us and them, that it's all of us. During my morning show days we had her on the air. She is a Phd expert who had been to every school shooting that had happened through 2010. Oddly, as I type, it feels so strange. Back then the shootings were yearly if that. Now, as I'm typing, mass shootings have just happened 35 days apart.
How can we not feel overwhelmed? How can we not seek to find blame?
I was fascinated by her approach. Barbara taught me that we are all part of the problem. It's never us or them it's all of us.
3 Simple Examples we can probably relate to:
1. Can you say that you've never gossiped about someone else? Bully
2. Has anyone ever gossiped about you and hurt you? Bullied
3. Can you say that if you were at the office and someone gossiped about someone else, have you always stood up for them? Bystander
The book, The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to HighSchool--How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle Click Here , is really how to break the cycle in schools. But unless we can recognize that we are part of the problem, we'll never get that we are part of the solution..... not just part of the solution, we are the solution. It starts within each of us to shift our thinking about the world and what is ours to do.
This us and them thing is killing us all, if not physically, emotionally. It's not like we have to start a crusade. But, as we recognize the subtle and not so subtle things that we bring to the table, the quicker we can shift our thinking and how we feel in general about what is going on around us moment by moment.
I hope that by recognizing we have a part in all of this, we will be empowered to make a different choice.
No matter where you fall within the spectrum, there is help!
If you bully people- Stop.
If you are bullied and you are stuck- Ask for help you are not alone.
If you are a bystander- See if there are times you can speak up.
It takes all of us recognizing the cycle in order to break it.
