Who would ever want to wear that label? I know I certainly would not.
There are lots of Buzz words to describe "them" or "those" people.
Countless therapy sessions teeter-totter back and forth between couples
not being able to communicate, even with a referee. The endless quest to
fix the other person keeps the treadmill at a pretty fast clip.
Also, it's much easier to figure out what is wrong with your partner than
to look within.
It's literally taken me years to figure some things out. It wasn't until I
noticed that I had an entire history of finding emotionally unavailable
people that I cracked the code a bit?
Top 5 Reasons:
1. Picking emotionally unavailable people is safe.
2. Not taking responsibility for choices.
3. Worrying more about the other person's feelings. (People pleasing)
4. Being stuck in a pattern can be familiar and almost ridiculously
5. Finding an emotionally unavailable partner attractive and exciting.
With that being said, I finally understood that if you spot it you got it.
Example: If I leave the house and I think the store clerk is a jerk, it
might be isolated. If the driver next to me is a jerk, the cop that stops
to give me a ticket is a jerk, and I roll into work and my boss is a jerk
then there might be a pattern!
The common denominator in all those scenarios is me. Perhaps it's time to
pause and recognize that maybe I'm being a jerk.
Maybe instead of Googling, seeking redemption in yet one more article that
tells you why you are absolved and the other person is a narcissist or you
want to diagnose them with an internet article label, pause.
Ask yourself this simple question. Could there be an aspect of me that is
emotionally unavailable? If the answer is no. Great! If you squirmed
even a little bit then you are on the path to some self awareness that you
didn't have a second ago.
Let the journey begin within and ask for help along the way if you feel