I've decided I can't wait another minute. People, stop and think before you talk about someone's weight. I've been around the block with this issue since I was a very little girl. My mother and my favorite aunt struggled with weight. My mom lost 50lbs at least 9 times by the time I reached 18.
Being a very sensitive kid growing up I learned that my mom hated herself when she was heavier and that she would do almost anything possible to lose that weight one more time.
The sad part was that no matter if she was heavy or an appropriate weight, it did not matter. This was something inside of her. That something inside of her became that something inside of me.
I know I'm not alone. Here are some mind blowing stats:
In the United States, 20 million women and
10 million men suffer from a clinically significant
eating disorder at some time in their life,
including anorexia nervosa,
bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, or EDNOS
(Wade, Keski-Rahkonen, & Hudson, 2011).
Back when I was 22 and had just gotten sober, a man in the group I was attending loudly proclaimed that I was really a fat girl in a skinny body and the fat girl was screaming to get out, and he laughed almost maniacally. OMG! Did he just say that out loud? The thing is... it felt like he was right and I didn't have anywhere to hide!
Another time, I was talking to my professor and I commented about the cover of the magazine on his desk. The girl was eating and I told him, "I would just die if anyone ever published a picture of me eating, on the cover of a magazine." He truly did not understand and was almost saddened by my comment. I became embarrassed that some of my neurosis spilled into our conversation.
Four days ago, a friend greeted me with, "Hey you've put on some weight." I am still trying to calm that voice in my head that wants to activate all the tools my mom deployed each time someone commented on her weight. UGH
I have been in recovery for 32 year. It's unsettling to sometimes realize that a comment can derail a good day.
The next time you want to talk about someones weight........WAIT!
Hopefully when you know better you will do better.
I don't know anyone who had a better day because you said, "Wow, You've put on some weight."